chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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