in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
