That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
