my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
