you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
