mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
