sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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