hotel room ftw
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
