oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
