Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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