i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
