I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
