So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
