perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
