At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
