i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize