the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
