If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
