Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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