Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize