First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
