Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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