I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
