Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
