dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
