pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
