I cannot find my penis.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
