His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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