all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
