If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
