there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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