that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize