i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
