someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
