i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
