just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
