i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
