batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
