I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize