I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
