Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
