no. you can't hotbox the world.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
