I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
