I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
