Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
