dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
