I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize