The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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