The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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