so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish my penis had a tongue
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
