Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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