I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize