bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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