Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
