After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
