Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
