Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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