His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Fuck appropriateness.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
BRING THE BAGELS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
