i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
